Pruning
iaian7 » blog John Einselen, 29.03.09There are some Bible passages that challenge me every time I read them, and then there are some that just plain scare me…
As a kid, talk of “cutting out the eye that causes you to stumble” always sent shudders of horror down my spine. While discussions on what true dedication means in practical living still come up from time to time, it’s generally accepted that cutting out your eye just means you’re flipping nuts.
While the last thing I want to try is some complicated exegetical analysis, from time to time I do post a little about my spiritual journey…
I’ve been technically jobless (with, thankfully, some hourly work) for a month or two now, and it’s required a lot more reliance on God, and His provision. Be it finding unexpected cash in the back seat of my car while searching for a check (which is a whole different story on the importance of tithing!), or the generosity of friends and family (thank you to all who have contacted studios, drummed up mograph projects, and so much more). It’s certainly made things a day-to-day discovery. I can’t just say I trust God, I have to mean it.
With that, come changes, challenges… two weeks ago, the sermon at my church was on Romans 6; always a formidable passage for me. If we’re baptised into a new life, saved from death itself, how can we live in the past? Well, I’ll tell you, it’s pretty darn easy. I tend to be a perfectionist, and even by human standards, I fail on a more than regular basis. I suppose it just goes to show how important God’s grace really is, but it’s also convicting – do I really let God work in my life? Change, mould, and build me into someone more like Christ? While the passage should really be brilliantly encouraging (freedom from what enslaves and drags us down!), it always seems more sobering for me.
After a week of wrestling with this, and what it all meant for me, the sermon this past Sunday was more than apropos; John 15. A vinedresser actually gave the sermon, discussing details of the job, and how trimming is required if the branches are to flourish and grow. Well, yeah, that explains the past week… my life is undergoing pruning!
And it’s been kinda rough. It’s not necessarily “bad” stuff, just things that distract me, take my time and energy, while offering so little in return. Pruning isn’t exactly fun, and while I should look to the growth that will come, instead I focus on the present. With such inner conflict, what am I left with? How exactly do I live in Christ, obey? Reading just a bit further in the passage, the answer is shamefully obvious:
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.” John 15:12
Love is the centre! It’s interesting, especially in light of my typically obsessive nature and neuroticism. Several months ago I started reading Victory Through Surrender, by E. Stanley Jones. A superb look at global religions, man’s relation with himself, and the unique solution God has provided through Christ. While I haven’t finished it yet (and can’t seem to find the book), there’s a quote from the warden of a mental institution I found especially revealing; when laughingly asked if the patients he cared for were “out of their minds,” he responded “Not at all!” The patients were very much in their minds, completely aware of themselves and so fully obsessed that they could see nothing else, trapped in their own self-centredness. The book goes on to discuss how people try to reconcile themselves with their selfish nature – either we embrace it, and decay (dying through our own self destructive natures), or attempt to live in denial (asceticism and the like), and fail. But through surrender to Christ, His love, we’re freed from our enslavement to self. It’s a thought provoking book, and as soon as I find it, hopefully I’ll also find the time to finish it.
Thankfully, this whole living thing appears to be a process. I’m just about the least mature 25 year old I’ve ever met, but no one magically becomes perfect overnight (perfection being a whole other discourse), but I trust that God will keep on working in my life. I’m human, and I’ll keep on failing… but He’ll pick me back up, dust me off, and set me right, yet again. As He always has. Not that it’s an excuse (and we’re right back to Romans 6!), but a reliance on His grace.
I am surprised at this common thread of “perfectionism” in many young people I know. It is causing difficulties and sadness in life. I’m not at all saying we shouldn’t strive to “be perfect even as our Heavenly Father is perfect.” Perfectionism is something totally different. It is a mindset tied to happiness. I rejoiced when my daughter wrote this recently, “There comes a day when you start realizing why things consistently go the same way. You start seeing a pattern and start wondering how that pattern’s come about. The explanation comes by recognizing the assumptions you have: the consistently inadequate amount of time you’ve spent on something, or the unreachable standard that you’ve set for yourself. Perfectionism is the ultimate negative thinking: the cup ain’t full until it’s perfectly full. No wonder perfectionists never feel satisfied with themselves! To be completely satisfied with ourselves we’d have to be perfect, and none of us are!” Amen
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Thanks for sharing this. I appreciate journey updates.
I hope I’ll remember the pruning lesson when I face difficulties this week. It’s encouraging to know that these “light and momentary struggles” are for our good. Keeping you in prayer!