Dallas, Texas
iaian7 » blog John Einselen, 13.07.08I’ll be honest – I didn’t see this coming, but here I am. In Texas. At least for the weekend. And yes, it’s bloody hot.
Renewing Your Passion is a conference by Gospel for Asia, a great missions and humanitarian organisation operating primarily in India. They focus on supporting local ministries in other countries, instead of sending americans over to “convert people.” It’s both culturally sensitive, and fiscally responsible – something a lot of mission agencies seem to miss from time to time. They focus on working with the lower caste; providing wells in communities without fresh water (Jesus Wells), caring for orphans (saving thousands of lives), and more. Truly amazing.
The conference is, to put it nicely, deeply challenging. As I hear various speakers, things are being brought to the surface that I don’t really enjoy having to deal with. Do I really love God? Do I have anything that could be called a relationship with Him?
Jacob, having worked many years for his father-in-law Laban in return for the hand of Rachel in marriage (Genesis 29:20), was able to look at the toil and see it as nothing, in light of his love. I don’t often feel that way about my “religion” (as one never does!). It still feels like work. I know it should never be a religion, but a relationship, and I know there’s a choice here – follow God, or not; and I certainly can’t not follow Him! I know what He says in the Bible to be true (and that’s because of evidence – not in spite of it like so many claim), and He’s proven his faithfulness in the past. That doesn’t stop me from feeling particularly alone right now.
I know loving someone is hard work, as any successful married couple will tell you. But at some point, I feel like I’ve lost sight of who Christ is. Why do I want to love Him, as a person? And that’s a question I may be wrestling with for a while. In the meantime, I’m putting my faith in God (Philippians 1:6).
It’s been good. As hard as all this is, it’s good. The speakers have been incredible, the people super-friendly, and it’s been good to talk with others about what I’m going through. Though I don’t think I’ll be moving down to Texas to work for GfA, I’m certainly still questioning where God wants me. Looks like it’ll be Detroit for a little while longer.
As I head home, who knew that airports had huge animated psychedelic tunnels of light? Well, now we both know! I may not look forward to airport terminals and parking lots, but flying is so much fun. Especially take-off. I guess drug-inspired hallways just add to the roller coaster ride experience.
As always, more pictures on Flickr.com
mediaboxAdvanced
So, you went back to Texas again?